Morning Sickness/Stomach Virus...

Well this week has been so awful! Not only am I having insane morning sickness, I have a stomach virus and am still feeling puky! All this after being in the hospital on IV fluids overnight on Thursday. I hated being in the hospital and was so worried about the baby bros. All I can do now is rest, hydrate and wait until Wednesday. I have my next ultrasound and doctor's appointment. I will feel so much better once I see the babes. I am hoping and praying that they are fine. I have been told that the babies will take from me and protect themselves at the risk of my health! It is all worth it in the end I am sure. I just wish I was able to enjoy this pregnancy and not being puking all the time! I knew that motherhood was going to be challenging and so far, I feel challenged...sigh...oh well....am hanging in by my toe nails. M has been great helping by staying with me in the hospital and buying Jill friendly food.

We also cannot wait to find out the gender of the babes. I say it is 2 girls and M thinks one of each. I really don't care, I just want happy and healthy babies. We have the names picked out, actually 2 boy and 2 girl names. We will be waiting until we see the babies to name them. I really love both of them and we are not sharing them with anyone...teeheee...GO TIME GO! I am so excited to watch the babes grow and meet them!

BFP BFP BFP!!

Since the transfer, I have been on bedrest with my protector. I think that he knew before any of us knew. He was so clingy and always cuddled to my belly. I am so blessed to have him!




I am still in shocked and totally excited!! Though I have not been blogging for a long time, my journey to this day has been long and so challenging!
I could not believe my eyes!!


We are beyond thrilled and will know the week of May 15 if baby is one or two! We are thinking twins are on their way! My first 4 day early beta was 188 and then 2 days later, the beta was 547!!! Looks great!! DH had a dream that it was a boy and girl. I have no idea but feel like there are twins on their way!!

Everyone is sooo thrilled for us!!! I love it and it makes me smile non stop!!!!

Something new...in this whole baby adventure

Today was my offical day off my self imposed bed rest. I was excited for this yesterday but then today, I woke up with cramps and feeling just blah. I was also feeling crampy especially on the lower right side of my uterus area. I just chilled in bed today, drank water and had little appetite. Then this afternoon at 4:30pm, I had a little bleeding and at first was excited and then scared. I called to confirm with my BFF that this could/should be implantation bleeding. ~ TMI ALERT ~ there were no clots, just fresh red blood, a little. I needed to shower so I did and then it was gone, nothing since. I still have the cramps and decided to stay on bed rest tonight and tomorrow just in case. I have done so well and come so far that I don't want to ruin anything now.
I called my girlfriend who has done IVF and is a week behind me in IVF again this time round and she was thrilled when she heard. She said that this was right on track with what she had read about implantation timing and I am right on track as per when I had the transfer and the day that the emrbyos were transferred. I was a little happier but will be more settled once I get my BFP via beta blood test.
There is my update. I am doing exactly what I can and hanging in there. Currently I still have back pain and cramps! Bert and Ernie (that is what my friend Sonia named the embryos aka the bros) are hopefully settling in for a nice long 9 months!

What a dream this whole experience has been.

BIG update!!

Here we are!! On bedrest, all 3 of us :) I had my embryos transfer done on Monday this week with 2 perfect embryos! The other 4 were frozen and will wait for us to use later on. We will not know if these babies are stuck for a few weeks. I am cautiously optomistic but know in my heart that I have done everything I could have possibly done to make a nice cozy home for the babies. I am keeping on bedrest for two weeks, hydrating well and trying to keep positive and happy. I am happy and will just have to wait for the big announcement.
I cannot get over how supportive everyone have been towards me and the babies!!
The phone calls, emails, visits etc. have kept me sane for the last few days.
I love the distractions and giggles. I have the very best friends ever! I can't wait to share this BFP with them!!!

On the medical side - I am on Progesterone supps twice a day and PregVit. I feel pretty good and finally feel like I am recovering from the egg retrieval which was so incredibly painful!

Moving away from the Willi World, I have a few things on my mind:

#1) My lovely dear best friend Moo's brother has been deployed to Afganistan. This is so hard for her and her family and I hope and pray for the safe return of her brother. Please if you are reading this, say an extra prayer for him

#2) My good friend had her egg retrieval today. She had great results of 19 eggs but it at extremely high risk of hyper stimulation syndrome as her estrogen is dangerously high. Please pray for her as well. This is her second full round of IVF and she has been so strong through this. I want a baby for her as much as I do for myself.

I have to remember to take the time out from my focus on the babies and my bed rest to reflect and sending out my positive thoughts for others around me who I love or love someone who loves them. We must look outside our own little world every day to really appreciate all of our many blessing!

Is this what is it like to be pregnant???

April 15 2010

So I am offically sick all the time. I am so nervous and excited for my egg retrieval tomorrow. I have 26 beautiful little follicles growing away and I have totally embraced the idea of IVF as a means to getting me pregnant. We are fine with this way to get pregnant as the outcome will be a Wee Willi B. I just can't wait to get these follicles out of me so I don't feel so sick/nauseated all the time. I can feel my ovaries when I bend over to touch my toes. My lower half is in pain all the time but I have to remind myself that this is only temporary and I am almost done.
The transfer will be next week and I am excited to have this done. I promise not to complain during a pregnancy at all! LOL

This is my March....has yours been as interesting??

Here is the update, I still have to do my Cole's notes of the last two years but that will be short, brief and done on the weekend!
March has been a very monumental month for me! This is it! The very last month of IUI perhaps ever in my life. I don't know why but I feel relieved that it is done. From here, if I did not conceive Willi B, it is on to IVF for us and like a good friend B told me, it is something to be excited about because there is a much higher chance of pregnancy with IVF. And she is right. I trust her for a few reasons but most importantly, she has been there once and is back again doing her next IVF in April.

Please excuse the abbreviations but they are necessary!

Mar 2 - Day #3 - started FSH 75IU
Mar 9 - CD#10 - 3 follies growing (11, 9, 9) up to 100 FSH
Mar 11 CD#12 - 3 still growing, continue on 100FSH
Mar 14 CD#15 - 1 follie at 14, rest stopped growing, take 125 IU of FSH, estrogen 368
Mar 16 CD#17 - follie at 20, estrogen surge to 721
Mar 17 CD#18 - IUI with 1 follie, 11 million prewash, 1.8 million post, test on Mar 31, will be seeing doc on Mar 30 so will test same day. Last IUI before IVF

There it is! My month recapped. With everything that has been going on, you would think that there would be more. I haven't mentioned the amazing things we did this month, this is all Willi B stuff. It is not ever separate from my "regular" life but there is also a totally different train of thought that goes with TTC at this point. It never is our one and only focus but when it is, it monopolizes so much of my time and energy that it becomes an entity in itself. Is that sad...or a bad thing...I don't really know.

To quote Brittany:

"I used to think, I had to answers to everything"

About Us....

Well, this is us! Looking at this picture sometimes makes me want to cry. The reason...a coworker told me once that only one thing that was missing from it was a baby. She then pointed to the spot where she thought the baby should be sitting. Innocent little comments like that hit the hardest and the deepest. Without even knowing it or trying to hurt me, she did. How could she have known that we have been trying, waiting, wishing and praying for that for so long? There is no answer but the feeling remains.

We have it all!! A wonderful friendship that blossomed into a marriage filled with love and laughs. Two good hearted people with full time jobs, a nice home, a lovely family, great friends and the best "guard" dog out there. We have it all....everything anyone would ever want for their own children to have in their life and here we are, 2 years later still waiting for a miracle baby of our own....our own Wee Willi B. The name for the factious baby that haunts my dreams comes from a few sources. First being "Been", this is my husband's nickname for me. My maternal grandmother who described me as "Wee" as I was born a month premature so that is where that fits in and the "Willi" come from my dear husband and his perfect surname that I happily inherited, making me Jilli Willi :) and "B" is for baby....oh dear....trying not to cry....special thanks to the hormone injections....will get to that later!